More Halloween Cupcakes

I finished the other two cupcakes last night. Here they are:
A werewolf and a princess. I still think the zombie is the best.

Halloween is coming!!

What does a zombie cupcake look like, you ask? Well, here's an example:


Yesterday, my manager mentioned using the Wilton Silly Feet to make cute decorated cupcakes for display. I had actually been thinking about doing that just the night before. So, I baked off the cupcakes and froze them over night.

Today was sooo slow at work, thanks to the rain. It was so beautiful but driving a half hour on the freeway to get to work blows, especially since most southern Californians apparently have no idea how to drive in inclimate weather. I'm not saying I am all great and knowledgeable, but there are some amazingly horrible drivers that I don't think should be on the road ever, rain or shine. Anyways, thanks to the off and on rain, customers were few and far between. Around 6, I got bored and decided to work on my cupcakes.

The original idea was to make a werewolf but when I accidentally added to much black to the brown frosting, it turned an unsightly grey. Zombie! Immediately came to mind. I added a touch of green and the horrifying color was perfect. Man, can I say I love working in a store that carries all these things. All I have to do is grab it, do a little paperwork, and boom, it's all mine. Well, the store's actually but I'm the main person doing little crafts like these.


My second attempt was to make a witch but the ultimate look is much more Hulk. So, a she became a he. And he does not like being angry.

Tomorrow I'm gonna work on the werewolf and maybe a princess. I think I need something girly to go along with all these monsters. I also want to make some other Halloween themed cupcakes to go on display. Something to give the people ideas and get the creative juices flowing.

Maybe I should make some arms to stick out of the zombie.... We do have fondant....

Not so productive day.

What to bake? What to bake? I have today off and I was supposed to be organizing the kitchen area in my room. Instead, my mom asked me to go with her to the grocery store. A trip to the grocery store turned into a trip to Homegoods, Joanns, lunch, and then the grocery store. It also included a very long, very important conversation between her and I about my future. It's long and drawn out and not something to get into here. Now that I'm back home though, I remembered I needed to update my phone. So that's what I'm doing at this moment.

I got fabric at Joanns to patch my blanket as Barbossa has ripped a hole completely through the damn thing. Stupid dog. And, it's near the center of the blanket so no matter how you sleep, you still end up with your foot sticking out of the damn hole. Mittens has also made a few of nice adjustments with her freaking nails. It's as if one animal causes a tear, and the rest have to get their marks in too.

I do want to bake today but I don't think I should put the time aside for it. I really should do some things around the room. Yeah... I think that's what I'll do. No baking for me today. Bummer. I should have a few days off next week so I'll bake something then.

In search of purple velvet....

My future sister-n-law's birthday was tonight, well, last night? The 26th... Anyways, I told her I'd be happy to make her her cake. I asked her what kind of cake she wanted but she didn't really have an idea. Their family normally gets white or chocolate cakes or ice cream cakes for birthdays. So I pretty much had free reign on what I thought I should make. I was between Pioneer Woman's Strawberry Shortcake Cake, as Sam loves strawberries, or a red velvet cake.

I've been wanting to make a red velvet cake for a long time now. Of course in my search to find the perfect recipe, I come to realize I've made it before. A few years ago I made Jesse a Red Waldorf cake with red and green batter (green's his favorite color, red's mine). I'd totally forgotten about it until I kept getting referred to a red velvet being a red waldorf. So there you go...

Back to my search for the perfect recipe..... I threw red velvet into my google search bar and went through quite a number of recipes. I made sure to read comments and see how many people a) baked it, and b) loved it. "Loved it" is important. I also looked for the comment, "moist" as red velvet should be. Eventually I came to Pinch My Salt's recipe. The pictures looked beautiful and the comments were all around complimentary. But, I ran into an issue of what kind of frosting to use. Should I use cream cheese frosting, which is the most popular choice in these here parts, or should I make the traditional frosting for a red waldorf, a roux based frosting?? What do you do when you run into these issues? Well, I decided to bake cupcakes and try both frostings.


So, last night (Friday) I made the cupcakes for my family. I made them purple instead of red. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention Sam's favorite color is purple so my plan was to make the cake purple instead of red from the beginning. Back to my story.. I made both types of icing and gave bites of the cupcakes with each frosting for everyone to try. While I actually prefered the roux-based frosting, every single other person at my house prefered the cream cheese frosting. Guess which went in the cake?
The cupcake on the left is cream cheese and the cupcake on the right is the roux-based frosting.

I baked the cakes Friday night and made the frosting, then I passed out so I could put it all together in the morning. It came together beautifully. I hadn't worked with black fondant before so that was interesting but it worked out nicely. And as it was her 21st birthday I had decided to add the nice little touch of a stripper popping out of the cake, thanks to Mr. G.I.Joe. Unfortunately, all G.I.Joes are sculpted with the their shirts so I wasn't going to be able to strip him down. I traveled over to the Barbie aisle and found the only Ken doll. He's got a nice set up going on, by the way. One man to all the ladies that the Barbie line has to offer.... Well, it turned out that the Ken doll looked a hell of a lot like Sam's boyfriend. All he needed were some glasses and tattoos.... An easy task for Jesse.Jesse and I kept the Kyle/stripper doll a secret till we added it on at the last minute. We did show Kyle because Jesse had called him to ask about his tattoos and we thought it was fair for him to see his likeness before hand. When we brought the cake out everyone was amazed and could not get over the likeness or hilarity of the doll. We made Sam wait in the room until it could be all set up and when she came out she was so happy. They did make me cut the cake which I don't like doing.... But I gave up when I was told I was making the slices too big. Slice it yo-self then....It's not so easy to see from this picture but it was a very vibrant deep purple. It was quite pretty to cut into. I was very satisfied with the color as well as the taste. Jesse says everyone loved it and it's true that people kept telling me it was delicious and beautiful. I did get 1, maybe 2, bridal commisions out of this. That's always nifty. Oh and here's a picture of Sam enjoying the sight of her cake. And you can see Kyle and posiibly compare the like-ness....

Strawberry Shortcake

My aunt and uncle are down(up?) visiting from Texas. Every time they've been here I was too busy to be able to bake anything for them. So this time I was determined to make something tasty for them.

Last night Jesse and I went to the store to get some baguettes and brie to snack on. It's cheap, it's easy, and it may not have the deliciousness of real baguettes and brie but it's readily available. I had decided I was going to make some strawberry shortcakes as they are also pretty damn easy. Lucky for me, my mom still had some strawberries in the fridge so I didn't even have to buy them. Score one for my wallet. I did buy some butter just in case my mom had used it all without replacing it. But, by the time we got back, everyone was pretty much prepping for bed.

I woke up today and added strawberry shortcakes to my list of things to do. This list included going through and throwing out old spiral notebooks, reorganizing the kitchen area of my room, taking a shower, and doing like 3 loads of laundry. I did get through most of these things, if only halfway through a few of them. I even sort of made the bed. Sagittarius projects....start one, only to move on to another.

I went into the mainhouse to see the activity level. My mom, aunt, and uncle were going to see a movie so I told them I'd make them the shortcakes when they got back. Jesse came home not long after they left. He brought in his bookcase, and now he's only 2 major furniture pieces from living with me. Yay!

So, I made the strawberry shortcakes and it is pretty ridiculous how easy they are to make. Just cut some strawberries, sprinkle with sugar, and let them sit while you do the rest. Which is just combining the A.P. flour, sugar, baking powder. Then you add milk and a beaten egg, which are combined, to the flour mix until it is evenly moistened. Then drop onto a prepped pan and bake off. When they're cool, cut in half, spoon strawberries on bottom half, put some whipped cream on (home-made or bought, whatever), and add the top half like a little hat. Ta-dah! And everyone ohs and ahs and eats it. Yum yum.

Chocolate Souffles....

I decided to make some chocolate souffles for dessert tonight. My mom was making dinner for all of us, delicious chicken soup that is always made when the weather turn even slightly cold. It was like 84 degrees, with cold breezes, and an overcast sky. I know, I know, soooo cold, right? Coming from 95-triple digits last week, it was. And it's rather cold tonight too.... For southern california summer, anyways.

When I made the blackberry pie the other day, I was making it for Jesse's grandmother's birthday dinner. Well, my oldest brother Louis and his girlfriend were at home and had apparently scoped it out. They decided to come ask me if they could have some but by the time he came to get me, the pie and I were long gone. They were so disappointed and craving pie that Louis was forced to go to Marie Calenders. Haha. Well, the plan was to eat said pies tonight for dessert. I decided that was not going to do.

My mom had also recently bought a new (can you see how shiny it is?) toaster oven that has a convection oven setting. Well, what dessert is more perfect for a convection oven than a souffle?

I debated on what recipe to use. I have a recipe from school, which I've used before, for a chocolate souffle; on the other hand, I just recently bought 'Mastering the Art of French Cooking' by Mrs Julia Child. I ended up decided on giving her recipe a try as I've never used it before. It was pretty easy to follow and get through, but I did run into the problem of not enough ramekins and a lot of batter. Her recipe calls for a big souffle ramekin and I was making little individual souffles. So, I ended up having to throw about half the batter away. Bummer. There were plenty for everyone, though.

I put them in the toaster and discovered the oven grid is kinda flimsy. I'm going to pick up a small 1/4 sheet pan tomorrow at work and maybe a bigger souffle ramekin. The grid held up fine but it made me nervous. I was also a little concerned the souffles were going to pour over the sides, like cake batter, instead of rising and then I would have a huge toaster mess to clean up. The souffles rose beautifully though. And in half the time of Mrs Child's recipe as she was using a still oven.

As you can see, I had to use pyrex custard cups as well as ceramic ramekins. They worked surprisingly well. And it was pretty cool to see the air bubbles expand as the souffles baked.

Anyways, the souffles were a smash and everyone enjoyed it. I think next time I will make chocolate sauce to pour into the centers. Then they will be ultra delicious.

Blackberries

I want to post more on my baking. I just always forget to taking freaking pictures. In the last week and a half I have baked blackberry creme brulee, chocolate cream pie with whipped cream and blackberries on top, and a blackberry pie. See a theme? I've also been cooking a lot more, although that's all about wanting tasty, cheap, and real food as opposed to baking which is about practice and making Jesse smile.

I think I'm going to join the Daring Bakers Challenge. In fact, I think I'm gonna go do that now. Haha.

Agh. I should have gone when my brother invited me to a Muse concert like 3 years ago. Now I'll never be able to go, nor will it be as fun....thanks to all those twi-tards. haha. I just made that one up. Man. Gerard Butler is hot. That's all. (He just presented Muse on MTV Music Video Awards).

Ze cake

I suppose I should post on my cake delivery. It actually went really well. I was a bit unhappy with a couple of elements but it's hard to be perfectly happy with your own creation.

I had Jesse help me with the fondant rolling and coloring because it's tough work. Haha.

So.... It is a marble cake with chocolate mousse filling. I used to chocolate buttercream to cover each tier. I then covered each tier with a layer of colored fondant. Then decorated with royal icing piping and chocolate shells. I made the crab and thanks to watching 'Land of the Lost' at the same time, got a pretty good likeness. He was originally supposed to have a drink umbrella in his claw but I forgot to pick one up. Bummer.

Delivering the cake was scary. We had to drive to Griffith park, which is a half hour from my house. On the freeway. And delivered at 11 a.m. So traffic was in the way. Which means braking. Which means I'm holding my breath, praying the cake wont slide. We did make it there all in one piece. Or rather the way we packed it in the element. So yay.

And here's a close-up of the crab. Doesn't he look angry? Haha.

Vacation time

Jesse and I are leaving on a camping trip tomorrow. It will be our first camp without relatives and just people our own age. Well, other than a couple of weekends at Malibu Creek. This trip is near Mono Hot Springs, which is a little over 6 hours from here. Several people we went to school with are gonna be there and that will be interesting.

Jesse and I have had several conversations about not wanting to share our supplies. We're bad like that. We just are afraid of, and know, that we are gonna be ultra prepared and most of the people there are gonna bring a blanket and beer. So we've talked at length about it and we've decided on a barter system. Specifically for our food. I don't mind sharing other stuff but food is expensive and I ain't giving money away for free. So suck it hippies.

I made the trial run of the cake. I need to do some adjustments but for the most part it was good. So now I'll have to make 6 more, in 3 different sizes, and stack them together, after decorating them of course... I'm nervous about this whole thing but I look forward to it.

Yesterday was my last day at the bakery. It was fine. Same as every other day. I hate that my supervisor is still working there but I'm really hoping she'll find something else soon. She deserves sooo much more. She's smart, talented, and a great teacher. I really hope she gets something else. She's probably going to move to San Francisco in the next year or so and hopefully that will mean a job possibility for moi. That would be nice. I do have to call her and ask for a letter of reference to keep in my records. I'll call when I get back from camping.

I'm going in to pick up my final check today. Jesse's gonna come with me after he gets out of work. Blagh. But that will be the last time I have to deal with that place ever again and I can't think of a better thing to be happy about. Honestly.

Rebecca has left the building....

So I am officially free from the candle store. It's a long and ridiculous story but I'll be a lady and not divulge it all over the internet. I start at my new place next Tuesday. I really hope it works out. So now I have a week off, besides the internship, until we go camping this weekend. Yay.

The internship is over this Wednesday. I've enjoyed the experience and the direction my supervisor has given me. I'm a little disappointed that I wasn't offered a permanent position. On the other hand, I don't think I would be happy working there. There's too many things that need to be addressed and I hate seeing my supervisor being taken advantage of. Luckily she's on an interview today and hopefully wont have to stay there for much longer. Then it will be awesome to see the owner become frantic.

I'm working on a small version of my cake commission. I want to make sure all the flavors work out and the crab comes out looking like a crab. Haha. So far so good. I made the cake last night and froze it for today. I spent the afternoon making the chocolate buttercream and chocolate mousse. Right now they're in the fridge setting up. Soon I can put them all together and see how it tastes. Maybe I'll take some pictures and put them up.

Cakes and Jobs

I got my first cake commission. A friend asked me to make a cake for her company picnic. She said they don't have a large budget and most people wanted to get a costco cake. So she called me to ask if I was interested. I'm pretty nervous and excited about it. I'm going to meet with her on Saturday to a) catch up, and b) get the idea nailed down. I need to finish planning like 3 ideas so I have some options based on decor ideas and price points. It's for 150 people so that's a lot of cake. Yeesh. I'm thinking a three tier round cake. Or maybe 2 square and top round. But I already have the pans for round so maybe I'll just go with that.

I also just got a phone call from somewhere I applied to. I have an interview next week and I'm super excited. I want something more in line with my career and I'm sorry but candles ain't it. I really hope I get this job. It's a further drive but it's a store I actually like to shop at. And there's men there so the estrogen-fest I've been dealing with will, hopefully, cut down.

Fable 2 is taking over my life. I've spent a ridiculous amount of time playing it lately. I'm still not evil or good. I just can't decide which way I want to go. Which is so funny because it's a video game and I get all guilty if I do something bad like kill someone.....

Well, I've got to go make some plans so off I go.....

Ye Old Zuma Beach

Jesse and I went to the beach today. We both had to work in the morning but were free in the afternoon. I met him at Malibu Creek and he drove the rest of the way to Zuma. I made us some samiches and brought some snacks and sodas.

We set up shop between a Jewish couple and a group of teenage girls. An odd spot, to be sure. I ended up making the Jewish woman laugh because I dropped a cheeto and a seagull came walking up all excited. I shooed it away and told it that even though I dropped the cheeto I was not going to give it to him. The woman laughed and we shared a companionable smile.

We'd only been there for a short bit before two groups spoiled our little set up. Well, not spoiled, but through it off a little. Two women and their gaggle of children set up directly in front of us. Lame. Then a group of teenage boys came and set up next to them. They immediately began wrestling with each other. Jesse and I joked about their obvious man-love and need to capture the teenage girl's attention. The Jewish couple ended up moving away down the beach. Jesse made a joke about how sad it was that we had more in common with the older couple than people our own age. It's a never ending issue. haha.

So I convinced Jesse to go in the water with me and we had super amounts of fun. We acted like little girls at first with the cold water. I think Jesse was tricking me by pretending to search for sandcrabs so we could get wet. We eventually made our way deeper into the water so that we were jumping over waves. All fun except when seaweed would wrap around me and make me scream like a little girl. Thank heavens I actually am a girl so it's not so bizzare.

Being at the beach makes me really want to go back to Hawaii, or Kauaii to be more specific. I'm supposed to go sometime soon with my mom to celebrate our birthdays. Either September or October. I'm looking forward to it but I wont be able to go swimming without Jesse there. So that'll kind of suck. But I'll be able to see the touristy stuff so that kind of makes up for it...

Of Bread and Burns.

I've been working at the bakery for a almost two weeks. So far, I like it a lot. I see there's a lot of tension between levels, but I'm beginning to believe that's impossible to avoid with a female boss. I like my supervisor. She's teaching me a lot about breads and laminated doughs and I'm truly enjoying every minute of it. I brought home some extra croissant dough yesterday but I didn't get a chance to make some croissants yet. It already expanded to double the size. haha. Better use it tomorrow.

I was asked if it was possible to work last Sunday but I was working all day at the candle store. I told the co-owner, who'd asked, that if they hired me, I'd quit my other job. So, she's gonna have me shadow the other baker a few times, get me familiar with the ovens* and possibly hire me on for at least a few days a week. They're also trying to tie down a large laminated dough account and if that goes through then they'll have me for more than a few days. That'll be nice. Then I can absolutely quit the candle store.

*The ovens are walk ins and seriously intimidating. What if you got stuck in one! You could burn alive. Ahhhh! So scary.

I did go turn in an application for another store today though. I'm done. I can't stay at my other job for much longer. The tension is more than I can bear and after the things I've learned, I can't stand knowing these women think negatively about me. One person did make me feel a lot better. She told me all about the many women that have come and gone because of the management team. How scheming and truly ridiculous they can be.

I just don't understand it. Every time I have worked with a female manager, I have ended up quitting because of lack of respect. Why do women feel the need to alienate each other? To push away others who are competent and talented? As if they can be the only one in the immediate area with any ability. Shouldn't it be about working together to create a working and successful team? Why is it that men seem to be the ones who figure this out and all women can think about is finding petty reasons to get rid of each other? It's just so ridiculous.

I know that I make mistakes. And I know that sometimes I only put forth a small percentage of actual effort. But, I also know that I am talented. I am a great worker who strives to give the best of herself. And it all sound like a line but it's not. I have been offered promotion in every company I have worked in since I was 17. That means something. Working at a large chain company that is willing to hire an 18 year old on as a manager means something. And I'm so tired of these women acting like I'm lying. That I don't do anything and I didn't do the things I claimed to do. Let me point out that it wasn't me who told them about me. It was my district manager. A district manager for a large company pointed me out and said, 'hey, this girl knows what she's doing.' So, in all seriousness, they can go fuck their catty selves.

They need to open a Sur La Table in the valley. I'd be all over that. Management experience? Yes, sir. Culinary experience? You bet your sweet ass. Retail experience? More than I wish. Hire me. I need a big sign that says that. I will bring success to your company.

Well, tomorrow's another day at the bakery. I'm excited to go in. I really enjoy it. After work I'm gonna go home and put a butter block in that croissant dough, make some samiches for Jesse and me, then head to his work so we can go to the beach. Swimming. Yay. Plus I need to tan that terrible line out of my back. I've got a straight freaking line running across my shoulder from burning them a week ago. It's terrible. Need to erase with more tanning. I'll try post pictures soon of breads and such.

San Francisco, Arcata, and the long rode home

And so I'm back. Back home. Back to the valley. Where it is balls-hot. Seriously. After an almost week in San Francisco, in which I wore a long sleeve shirt + a sweater on one day, it is such a bummer to come back to this heat.

Jesse, thank the heavens, had mostly fixed the window during the cold spell so now we can use the air conditioner in my room. And it is still hot in there. Not that the air conditioner isn't working, it is. Nicely actually. But, you can feel the heat waiting like a demon from hell, breathing on your neck and waiting for the powers of electricity to fail.

Anyways, the trip was fantastic. The ride out was mostly uneventful, which as far as road trips in the middle of the night go that's a good thing. We did get a late start, leaving around 7.30p. We made good time though and got to James' house around 2-ish. He got us settled into his roommate's room, who was oddly enough here in the valley, and we got to bed a little while later.

Wednesday was an adventure, for sure. Jesse and I decided to walk to Fisherman's Wharf from James', which is near Haight and Ashbury. An almost 5 mile walk. Haha. Thank god for the iphone and the maps application. It took us like 3 hours, mostly because we took our time. Not too bad of a walk, either. It took us through a number of places, including Chinatown and Market St. And I'm not sure what the area is called but the mall area with a million stores expanded into several blocks. We took a break at a park in that area and I was facing all the high end and designer stores, Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue, Tiffany's, etc. We went into Borders and a 4-story William-Sonoma before heading on our way.

Once at the wharf we just sat. For like 20 minutes. Watching birds and Jesse munched on a pretzel. I took him to the candy store on Pier 39 and tantalized him with the many things he can continue to ruin his teeth with. I convinced him to eat at some restaurant mostly because I just wanted clam chowder...and a grilled cheese sandwich.....and fries.... I was just hungry. Walking for 3 hours does that to a person.....

We, read: me, decided to take the transit system back. I was done with walking at that point. haha. And while the iphone's map app is amazing, it doesn't help sometimes when you're not sure which direction your supposed to take the buses/trains. But, we made it home in like 40 minutes and with almost no problems.... Except for the jerk in the train station...But that's a story for another time.Back at James' I made us some dinner. James came home and hung out with us before we all felt the need to pass out.

On Thursday, James called out so we could hang out and he could get some homework done. He took us to the Science Academy in the Golden Gate Park. It was pretty cool but the rainforest exhibit was closed and we missed the star show thingy... The aquarium was cool though. I had to push through some panic but it was worth it. That's where we found out about Micheal Jackson. James got a text from a friend. We contimplated the news as we stared at a wall of tropical fish. The rest of the night involved eating some very tasty chicken soup from a chinese place on Haight, watching a couple of movies, and general hang out duties... haha.

We had to leave Friday afternoon to head up to Aracata to pick up Johnny. The drive was amazingly beautiful. Tons of red woods and rivers. It was wierd too because the towns are these little "hillbilly" towns but they advertise hippy-ish type businesses and cultures. I guess that's what Northern California is like.

We got into Arcata around 8. Johnny was sitting on his lawn like an old man waiting for his grandkids to show up. So ridiculous. We were gonna head off to the beach to watch the sunset but his drum teacher showed up. They chit chatted for a bit and his girlfriend was pretty nice. After they left we headed to the beach. Driving with Johnny is a bit scary. You just have to let it go and hope nothing bad will happen. Haha. The beach was really a cliffside. You walk from the car down this path with the ocean on both sides and you end up on the huge cliff over the ocean. It was beautiful.

We got back to Arcata and went to this house party with a band. The music was ok but the experience just re-affirmed that I did not wish to move to Arcata. The houses are beautiful and the area is so.... well, beautiful. But, I could not handle the people. Nope nope nope. And it was so obvious the Jesse and I were from L.a. We are a bit..... hostile? Haha. Not really. I mean I'm a nice person but I grew up here and people aren't.....outright nice(?) here. I don't know how to explain it. I don't know you so please don't stand in my personal bubble. No, I don't want to share my stuff with you. No, I don't agree with your pompous beliefs. Etc..... And all those kids live in this fatasy world where they are "poor students" when in reality I'm sure most of them are recieving most, if not all, financial help from their parents. And if I'm offending anyone, I'm sorry but it'll take some convincing for me not to think this way about them.

An old friend from high school met up with us and Johnny took us for a hike in the woods behind the university. Apparently the students are allowed on the campus all night. The buildings are locked but the campus is open. We ran into some people they knew in the football feild playing frisbee with a glow in the dark frisbee. The hike was fun but difficult in the complete dark. Adn johnny kept getting lost. Again, thank god for the iphone and the map app. I pulled it up and it helped get us our bearings and Jesse figured out the way out. Jesse who'd never been there before and only relied on his sense of direction to get out. Good job boys who have gone through there with sunlight beating through the trees.

We went back to their house and watched 'Moonwalker', which is the best. If you haven't seen it, figure out a way to. It's amazing. Jesse and I slept in the spare room on top of the highest stack of mattresses ever. Seriously, it was like 3 mattresses high on top of a box spring and a frame. It's complicated as to why there are so many mattresses and I don't feel like typing it out.... The closet was a bit freaky in that room and I made Jesse sleep on the outside of the bed.

Saturday was our head back day. We left around 12.30p and began the long trip back. We did stop at spot off the side of the road and went swimming in the river. That was pretty awesome. And worth going back for. We didn't get home until 2-ish. I was so exhausted and I had work on Sunday. Unfortunately, some issues reared their ugly heads and Jesse and I didn't get to sleep until 4.30 so we could get everything resolved.

All in all, a wonderful trip. It raised a lot of questions and possible paths for our future and we're looking into them. It was a lot of fun and I loved spending time with my brother. Arcata was a beautiful place to visit but that's all. San Francisco, on the other hand, well that'll be a post for another time. After all, this one took me all day to write...

Vacation here we come!

Tomorrow Jesse and I are leaving to San Francisco for a little mini-vacation. The first vacation I've had in over a year. And I'm getting paid for two of those days. Woot woot!

So the plan is this: We're gonna drive up to Frisco tomorrow night, probably leaving around 6 pm. Here's hoping we don't arrive too late because I'll feel bad waking up James but I'm sure he'll still be awake. Jesse and I are gonna the next few days there and Friday afternoon we're gonna head up to Humboldt county to hang out with Johnny. Then it's back home Saturday with Johnny in tow.

I love going on road trips. It reminds me of my childhood. Summers spent in 16 hour drives to and from Texas. I can't wait to get on the road. And I'm excited to be going with Jesse. You know, it's crazy how we've known each other for, what?, 8 years or so, and together for over 4, and we still find time together super enjoyable. That we'd rather be hanging out with each other than other people.

When I was still at the cake shop I had to deal with a lot of bitterness about love talk. The owner is a divorcee with two kids from the lawyer ex-husband. I got a lot of don't get married, date forever, etc. talk. And it's super frustrating because I know why people say the things they do. And I can't help but feel anything but pity for the people who have given up on love. Like just because they got burnt once means there's nothing else out there for them. I think that's all a load of crap. Just another reason to guard their hearts and keep the wall up. Not to mention that as silly as it seems, I truly believe Jesse and I are soul mates. Two halves of a whole. So all their talk about how love is bull means nothing to me because I don't believe them. And I don't believe that they really believe that.

I did make a joke about hooking up with girls at first which made the cake decorator laugh. The owner was like hang out with your girlfriends, go on vacations with your girlfriends, etc. And honestly, I can't imagine anyone else I'd rather go on trips with. Well, I can think of a couple people I think it would be almost as fun to go with but you know. And I'd still want Jesse to be with me.

I'm gonna miss the dogs. We're gonna leave them with Sam so we don't have to worry about planning around them. At this point, I'm not even sure what we're gonna be doing in Frisco. James may be working everyday we're there but at least I get to spend some time with him. I miss him so much. I'm glad we've both grown up enough to have a non-annoying sibling relationship.

I was thinking lately about my relationships with my brothers and how I feel like they've changed. I feel like all my brothers suddenly appreciate me more. I don't know if it's just me or what. Louis seems to be trying to engage me more often which is awesome since our relationship is the most strained. Jeff has always seemed appreciative of my company but he seems, I don't know, happier to see me? Thinking about it though, that's probably because he's just had a kid and he's happier to see everyone. Haha. James is....well James. Our relationship has been getting progressively better since we got older. I think it's mostly because he's not such a jerk. haha. But it could be that I'm no longer the whiny little sister. So all in all, the important relationships in life are improving and I love them and all that globity-gook.

Tomorrow's gonna be a busy day. I have to do two loads of laundry, pack, go to the store to gather some supplies, get the dogs squared away, prep Mittens for the week, ugh and so much more. And all before 3 pm. Yikes. Oh crap and I have to go fax my school paperwork in. Agh. Good night.

The last day of school

Today was the last day of my school-required internship. Well yesterday, technically. I've set up another internship that starts in a week with a bakery closer to my house. While I ended up enjoying my time at the required internship site, it wasn't focused on what I want to do. It was a specialty cake shop that didn't require me to use too many of my hard earned and expensively gained skills. I mostly dipped things in chocolate and helped customers. And helping customers is nothing new to me considering my several years of retail experience.....

My new internship site is a fully operational bakery. They make everything down to the croissants, which no one does due to the mass amount of time and energy they take. It kind of sucks that I'm choosing to do another stint of unpaid labor but I suppose the experience is almost as good as money. Most jobs I've looked for ask for at least one year of experience. How am I supposed to get experience if I can't get a job in this field? Hopefully with this internship I'll have about half a year of experience, which is better than none.

I want to find a job in the baking/patisserie field so bad. I am so tired of working retail. I am so tired of hating my job. At the cake shop, even when I really wanted to hit the owner or my back was starting to really ache, I still enjoyed my job. I enjoyed creating something I could be proud of. Of giving someone a great experience that would make them want to come back and buy from you again. And while that is an aspect that I enjoy within retail, it's not my product that's bringing people back. I don't do anything to create what I sell. I just convince people to buy stuff. Stuff they don't need and stuff I don't really care about.

Speaking of which..... Now is the time I turn off the computer so I can get some sleep in order to sell people stuff they don't need. I guess in all reality that sums up almost everyone's job. Well good night for now.